The Liquid Kosmos

The skeptic

Today was the first time I've been to church in ages. What made me do it? Good question.

Well, I had been hearing about the Bellview Community Church and how it was "different" than other churches. Great music, laid back, friendly people, and a dynamically "real" pastor. The reports were correct.

It truly was a pleasant experience, even for someone as skeptical as me. The music was great...although they changed the lyrics of a few songs and put "Jesus" in place of the female name that typically goes there. Lionel Cartwright writes and publishes most of the songs they perform and, while I don't know him or of him, David Foster, the pastor, referred to him as a "freak". You gotta love that adjective, used as a positive, coming from the man giving the sermon.

The experience wasn't all pretty. There was a heavy undertone (I might even call it an "overtone") pointed at the need for funds to pull off some new project they have in the works. In fact "the message" was pretty much centered around the idea of money and giving it to God. Trust me, my instincts were to get up and bolt the minute he said they were about 9 million short of their goal, but I decided to give him a chance.

He skillfully wrapped the "message" around how important it is for you to be wise with your money. Christians are good investors and what could possibly be a better investment than God? Again, I am sooo skeptical, but I see his point. Because "God" becomes the people. The others that you love and know in the church. I don't have a problem with that. How can a guy that spends $50 on a typical Friday trying to catch a good buzz argue with putting money into the future of the community? He can't. So I didn't and I won't.

I throw money away. There is no question about that. Twenty five dollar dinner here, 15 dollar lunch there. 50 bucks for drinking... etc... Soda, blah, blah... it adds up and most of it is going to fuel a void which I have always known (at least deep down) is a spiritual one.

Foster admits he's not perfect. In fact, when he talked about his disappointment due to a lack of funds, he referred to it is the "Stupid Dave" talking. Surely this could all be an "angle" too, but I believe him. I know there is a stupid side of me too. He said the "stupid side" of is resilient. It doesn't need much fuel, attention, or love... but it's always there... relentlessly nagging at you to do something that will get in the way of where you want to go.

He ended the service by looking at everyone and saying, "I love all of you, have a great day, go get em'." "Go get em??" It sounded so strange to hear that coming from a pastor, but it was intensely powerful for me. It was like inspiration to be yourself. That's all. No more, no less, and that is pretty much where the church seems to come from. Sure, it is a little strange pulling in with hundreds of cars and flaggers directing you to your parking spot, but the whole thing is designed to make you feel good. Like it was a positive experience and one that will help you propel yourself through the week.

I don't know. I am truly skeptical, but I genuinely want to let go of that emotion. I think I will most likely go back next Sunday because no one made me feel like I didn't belong. Not even a little. They didn't even make me feel like I DID belong, but I know if I would have struck a conversation with someone it would have been a good and honest one.

The last time I went to church on a day other than Christmas, Easter, a wedding or funeral was about 8 years ago. I felt very lost and went into a traditional Episcopalian church because that is what I grew up in. After the service the minister, who was smoking like a madman and reminded me of a creepy perv, caught me on the way out and threw the sales pitch on me hardcore. He slapped a business card in my hand and said, "Call me sometime this week and we'll see how we can get you involved." That business card ended up in his own trash can.

Skeptical? Maybe.

posted by The Oscillator @ 5:18 PM