The Liquid Kosmos

True story of idiocy

True story of idiocy

I rarely shop at Wal*Mart, but for the last few weeks I have had reoccuring thoughts about something that I need to purchase at that wasteland. The item was one of those things that just screams, Wal*Mart will have it at a good price. But for the last few weekends I have forgotten to go there and get said item. So, today, I woke up and one of the first things I thought was that I needed to go to Wal*Mart. The problem was -for the life of me, I couldn't remember what I needed to buy there.

Being the logical thinker that I am, I hopped in my car and drove to Wal*Mart thinking that by the time I got there I would remember what I was going there to buy. Unfortunately that didn't happen. So, I'm sitting in the parking lot, racking my brain over what I need so badly from this American institution. Couldn't remember. So, I brazenly walked into the store, graciously accepted a cart from the little old lady and decided I would walk around until something I saw reminded me of what I was there to purchase.

The first thing I threw in my cart was a bag of carrots. (This is another issue I clearly need to take up with my therapist.) Then some celery, and the usual vegetable scores. I always buy this stuff and it ends up going to waste 90% of the time. Wishful thinking, I suppose. Much like my quest to remember the "lost item" in my brain.

Well, after about two aisles worth of "post-church-goer-overload" I decided to give up on my search. I realized (for about the 20th time in my life) that I can't deal with being inside a Wal*Mart and suddenly needed fresh air. (I don't even think the anti-oxident burst from a carrot would have helped). I contemplated leaving my sparsley-filled cart in the home furnishings and making a run for it, but a bottle of Coke - near the check-out girl with the blue smock - caught my eye. I roughed out the line to get one.

Basically, I went all the fucking way out to Wal*Mart to buy a Coke and carrots. Now, I'm no psychologist, but I'm quite sure that even the clinically trained would ruffle a brow at that story.

posted by The Oscillator @ 12:12 PM