The Liquid Kosmos

Another ridiculous event

Some of you may have read about my ankle problems a few days ago. I was concerned enough to make a doctor's appointment to make sure it wasn't serious. Strangely enough, however, I wore a brace and an arch support deal over the weekend and feel like I am back to full strength. But, there was "just enough doubt" in my mind to follow through with the doctor.

I'm should have canceled the appointment. I don't really like going to doctors and haven't been to one since I broke my finger 7 years ago and the surgeon promptly fucked up the operation.
The only doctors I'm remotely interested in are psychologists - mainly because I like the idea of getting into twisted discussions. I usually just rough it when I'm sick or adjust my diet and battle through. It's too easy to start popping pills and I've seen several relatives get sucked into "pill-box-hell."

Anyway, back to the foot doctor. First of all I felt like an idiot strolling in there without a noticeable limp, so I faked it a little as I approached the "new patient forms" on the counter. I filled it out with buyer's remorse and waited for my new doctor. And waited. And waited. And waited.

He finally got to me about an hour later, but not before I noticed a sign next to my waiting recliner. It said:

AS A COURTESY TO THIS OFFICE PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING CELL PHONES WHILE THE DOCTOR IS IN THE ROOM WITH YOU.

Well, there are several things wrong with this sign (and yes it was in all caps) but after reading it I was quite certain I was about to meet a quack.

The first thing I did was pull out my cell phone to blatently insult "this office" (even though the doctor wasn't in it yet). I chuckled and checked my messages on my one phone. If I would have had cell "phones" I would have used them both.

My instincts were correct. The doc seemed like a nice enough man, but he was so obviously bitter that I found it comical. On more than one occasion he started ranting against his competitors and other doctors only to recoil and say, "I don't mean to talk badly about them, it's just that, oh, we won't get into it." What made it even more ridiculous was that he was trying to sell me $400 arch supports and felt compelled to talk me out of shopping around with "unethical" doctors who habitually recommend surgery (sometimes even scheduling appointment without your permission).

Well, needless to say, after about 15 minutes of his squabbling, I excused myself and suggested I'd "think about" the orthopedics.

Seriously, what is this life all about? I have got to find a new hobby.

posted by The Oscillator @ 8:24 PM