Women Who Box
I turned on the TV after work today and, to my delight, the screen replete with women. They pranced, danced, and waltzed about, on stage for everyone to see. Their legs and midriffs were bare, and gloves concealed their hands. It was reality TV at it's finest with sweat, drool, and men who wagged their tongues in between chugs of beer. I never imagined I would be fixated on women who box.My first thought was, 'man this is stupid,' but these women were beating the shit out of each other. The Latino was stereotypically aggressive as she assaulted her African American foe. They traded grunts and groans and jabs and low-blows. The crowd went wild when the black woman systematically landed a jab to the chin, followed by a powerful right hook that turned her counterpart into a matron. The only question that kept running through my mind was, why? Why would women want to box?
For years, women have argued with me before that breasts are as sensitive as a man's genitiles. I have always had my doubts and the interminable arguments only compounded my voracious appetite find proof that fell on the side of men. Now, right in front of me, in living color, women's boxing was ironically proving to be the foundation for my next quarrel.
A blow below the belt is one of the most polarizing attacks a male boxer can make. Guys will all look at each other and wince, 'oh, that was a low-blow' (not only literally, but figuratively in the sense that the guy is cheating and simply a bad person). And we all know that it's scientifically proven that you don't even have to "connect" with male "balls" for there to be excruciating pain. A normal women's boxing match must contain dozens of direct blows to the breasts, not to mention 100's of indiscriminate "grazes" that would have a man crying like a baby.
I tried to imagine men boxing on their heads where one half-assed punch just "above" the belt would end every fight in the first round. Iron Mike Tyson would tumbled to his feet with every "grazer."
I guess the equivalent of women boxers are male cheerleaders. Actually, I think it's even more drastic, maybe drag queens would be a better analogy. It's a full-on dive into a world replete with everything that doesn't fit the "normal" view of feminine or masculine. And I say, more power to them. I'm just glad I have solved a nagging dilemma and have the power to end a life-long debate without having to physically prove it anymore.
posted by The Oscillator @ 10:25 PM
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