The Liquid Kosmos

Zen, robots, and black-light posters

I'm pretty openminded. I'll ride down a busy street to put attention on the environment, but I'll also see the cop's point of view and how people could be upset because their wife may be having a baby and a group of tree huggers like me are inbetween them and the hospital. I think it's good to keep a balanced perspective on things and see issues from another person's perspective. Hell, I even wear one black and one white sock sometimes just because I feel like it. But there is one thing that I am not budging on: Star Wars.

With every new release of that series I fall further into extinction. In fact, I think I'm probably one of the few men on the planet who has never seen ANY of the Star Wars flicks.

I forget how it started, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that I like women and didn't want to look like a dork with robots on my bedroom shelves. I was more of a black-light poster, Van Halen kind of guy. All that "wankanobe" stuff just flew right past me.

Or may it's because I'm not really a big fan of the future. I mean, it hasn't happened yet, so at best these movies are prognostication and if you're going to fantasize, why the hell would it be about space ships when Angelina Jolie just dumped Brad Pitt?

Anyway, I kinda lean toward the present. It's a lot more en vogue.

And the past is kind of cool too because you can learn from it. (The key word in the previous sentence is "can" because most of us don't). I could say, damn, what I did last night was STUPID with a capital every-letter-in-the-word. Then, tonight go out and do the same thing again... wake up in the morning, look at myself and say... who are you? Do I even know you?

But there is one lesson I have learned from the past and that is don't do something you have strongly protested for a long time just because you are getting older and more tolerant.

I did that when I lived in Minneapolis for a year. The whole time I swore that I would NOT go to "The Mall of America" and for 364 straight days I was firm. It was like 10 miles away from my apartment and planes full of people from all over the country were flying to my neighborhood for just that reason. To shop!

I think it was kind of selfish, sort of like this Star Wars thing, but I was determined to stay out of that multi-layered and over-exploited symbol of capitalism. And, let me tell you that was far more difficult than avoiding a poorly written movie with a bunch of butt pirates. Every woman in the world wants to go to The Mall of America. No less than two relationships ended because I refused to go to that place. It's pretty much another Internet shopping spree contained by cement blocks.

Yes, I was strong... holding on to my "MOA" virginity like it were the last lightsaber in the galaxy. That was, until I met Anna.

Anna was alive, fun, and sexy. The bad news was, that I had decided to move back to Illinois about three weeks earlier, and of course, just like clockwork, I met a totally hot and seemingly perfect woman. I knew it was probably a mirage because I was leaving and it was kind of like, "hey, let's just hang out... be crazy and never worry about anything because I'm leaving soon, anyway." We spent like 3 straight weeks together and on the day before I left, she had her purse full of beer and we were walking into the movie theaters at "The Mall." Kind of a double whammy.

Although I had a great time with her that night and the previous 20, I still kind of regret going to the MOA. The story would have been so much cleaner. Everytime someone brings up that mall, all I would have to say is, "Yeah, well, I lived there for a whole year, only 10 miles away, and I never set foot in that crap hole." Now, it turns into this whole thing about 364 days, a girl, beer, blah, blah, blah...

Truth be told, the Mall of America is kind of impressive. It's got like jungles, a roller coaster, an ice rinks, and obviously tons of women. So, the openminded part of me thinks, maybe I am kind of glad I went to the movies that night. I'm just glad Star Wars wasn't playing.

posted by The Oscillator @ 8:27 PM